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I collected the Sea Anemone essence from tide pools teaming with them in Northern California on a secluded beach. Sea Anemone helps us find the balance between holding back and sharing too much, too quickly. We are able to tune into our environment and 'read the room' - effortlessly knowing when to let it all hang out and when to be more judicious. It dissolves timidity and being overly protective of ourselves or our ideas, while helping us intuit when more intimacy is called for. Read more here!
By being intentional when taking our flower essences, we remind ourselves, our guides and the universe what it is we want to embody. Choose one of the phrases below that most resonates, or make up your own! Every time you take your elixir, close your eyes and set your intention:
Sensitivity is my strength.
I adjust quickly to subtle changes in my environment.
I know when to be vulnerable and when to hold back.
Solitude is about being present.
To take it one step further, as you take your elixir and set your intention, visualize everyone else in this program, all around the world, feeling light and free. By connecting with others in our group, we exponentially multiply the benefit + ripple effect!
When do you find yourself isolating or withdrawing in order to distract yourself for comfort vs. use the alone time to rest, sit quietly and get in touch with your own inner wisdom? Conversely, when do you find yourself sharing a stressful or confusing event with others, instead of making the effort to sit with it and see what arises from within you?
What parts of yourself do you rarely, if ever, share with others? Is there anyone you’re ready to share with? What could the outcome of this newfound intimacy be?
Are there any situations, ideas, or relationships that you are currently over-protective of? How could they benefit from less tension/holding on?
In which situations to find yourself sharing ‘too much, too quickly?’ Why?
Has it ever backfired when you shared too much of yourself too early in a relationship? Alternatively, could you deepen in some of your relationships by being a little more vulnerable?
Prefer to have a printed sheet with the writing prompts, exquisite practices + a calendar to track your month?
Download the Sea Anemone Support Guide here.
Next time you walk into a room with other people, take a moment to observe everything around you before engaging. What are you able to intuit about the dynamics in your environment?
When you find yourself about to share intimate details, pause and ask yourself “Has this person earned the right to the vulnerable and tender aspects of my experience?” Alternatively, when you find yourself holding back with another, ask if they have earned the right to you know you intimately. It may be time to share.
Practice the opposite of your norm when engaging with others: When you’d typically speak up/share, pause and listen. When you’d typically stay silent (even though you have something to contribute), try sharing.
I will help you feel:
Use me when:
Okay so this month we're working with the Sea Anemone elixir, which is so exciting to me. I have been so fascinated and just a huge fan of these creatures for years now. Kristina Wingeier who does our astrology Moonshine podcast episodes with me, she's always texting me photos because she lives on the coast. And there are these really huge, just wildly bright green and crazy colors - blue, purple, orange, of sea anemones where she lives. And then I would see them in Costa Rica. And then on a business trip to Northern California, I actually discovered some, that were just perfect for making an essence of. Because they were resting open and relaxed in a really small tide pool that had been sitting in the sunshine all day. So it's very easy to make an essence of them without disturbing them. And I think they're actually a different species than we had originally thought.
Inspecting the photos again, there are four different kinds of Sea Anemone. I mean there are thousands of different kinds of Sea Anemones around the world. And there are four different kinds in Northern California. Can you imagine over a thousand different species of sea anemone and that's it, like varying depths of water and temperature, whether it's like tropical or Northern. I find this so fascinating. But anyway, there's four types in Northern California. And some of them are still underwater when the tide pulls out and some of them get exposed when the tide pulls out. And they have beautiful names like Sunburst and the actual Sea Anemone that we're working with, which I believe we may have grabbed the wrong Latin name. I believe it was the Anthopleura Elegantissima, which is a cloning anemone, which is insane.
Okay. So let me just tell you what this creature's life is like. So, it's in the intertidal community already, which we kind of talked about with the crab, having these cycles of tides coming in, tides going out. So. these Anemone, when the tide pulls out into the sea, they're often exposed to air and hot sun. And so they contract into themselves and like ferrule all up. And on the outside of them you'll see like pebbles and rocks, and sand and shells. And so everything that's on the outside of them, if it's like a shiny shell, it's reflecting the sun. If it's a pebble, it's all designed to protect it from the hot sun and the dryness, right? Because these are like soft, squishy and vertebrates, and so they don’t want to dry out. And when you see them, like on the side of the rock at low tide, sometimes they just look like rocks. It just looks like a bunch of rocks. And there are certain species that you can even walk on because they're used to the pressure of these crashing waves.
Isn’t that crazy?! I can never walk on them. But I mean oftentimes you might look and you just think it looks like a rock. It's actually a bunch of sea anemone that are pulled into themselves with sand or pebbles on the outside. Okay.
And so, first of all, the resiliency of this creature to protect itself every time the cycles of the tide go back out, it's pretty amazing. I find that fascinating, always. And then when the tides come back in, they can just totally relax all their tentacles and be in their natural habitat, which is in sea water. And their tentacles are poisonous; not to beings with really thick skin like us humans, us dense human beings with thick skin on her fingers. So, if you actually touch a sea anemone, it's not like a jellyfish, you don't get stung, you don't feel anything. It's just like a soft squishy little creature.
But if you were like a certain kind of fish, you may succumb to the venom. And then at that point, the sea anemone would pull the fish in and digest it in its little center, squishy body. Like I said, there are so many different kinds of sea anemones. Some of them wait until the fish come swimming by, and they like Shoop! Grab it. There are some really interesting videos on YouTube. Or they'll eat mollusks, or starfish, or weird soft squishy sea creatures. And other types of anemones just live from photosynthesis that occurs from a naturally occurring symbiotic algae that lives inside its body.
Is that the craziest thing? I mean it's literally like a plantastic flowerific sea creature - the kind that are living or surviving from photosynthesis, from this algae that's living inside its body. It's fascinating, it's like a plant and a creature wrapped in one.
This is like my science nerdy side coming out here. But the most interesting thing about what I believe is the species that we collected - because the Anthopleura Sola, tip of just the Sunburst Anemone, typically is still under water when the tide pulls out as like larger and it's usually kind of solitary. And then you have the Anthopleura Elegantissima, which is what I believe we collected and it is the cloning anemone. So usually it will become exposed when the tide pulls away and they're a little bit smaller, the Sea Anemone, and usually there are a bunch in one spot versus being like solitary and on their own. Okay, here's the freaky part about the cloning ones.
So I'm going to read, like literally read what I found, because the language again is just amazing. "Two halves, so the two halves of the anemone walk in the opposite directions and they pull apart until the tissue that joins them stretches and eventually tears. Then each half heals the wound and carries on as if nothing extraordinary has happened. Each animal's now, physiologically and ecologically independent animal, can later go on to divide again and so on. The logical consequence of all this replication is a clone of genetically identical anemones spreading over rocky surface. And that's what you get in two halves of the animal walk away from each other." Whoa, super crazy. Okay, wild, right? In any case, all sea anemones are amazing. The particular element of the cloning is particularly fascinating to me, and we'll see how that plays out this month as we work with the elixir.
There are some main themes with the elixir, and I'd say one of the main themes is just the quality of a sea anemone and its extreme sensitivity. It is living in water for the most part. It is sensing the environment, it is waiting for the right moment for a fish to come close or something that it can eat. And they also live symbiotically with other creatures like certain kinds of fish and hermit crabs. So they're kind of like working together with a lot of other species. They're very aware, they're fluidic, they're sensitive. And then there's also this element of having venom in their tentacles. Fascinating creature.
So one of the main themes of the elixir is something that I think all of us fall prey to (like my language? Haha!) And that is just like, think about how modern life is today, with the cell phones and social media and texts and emails. And you go to the restaurant with your friends and then sometimes you just end up all on your phones. It's just like craziness. Most people, even when they go on vacation, the first thing they do when they get to their destination is like lie down with their phone and post stuff or look at stuff. It's just like we've created this sort of digital world, right? Which leads us to be even more sort of insular and sort of separate - like we separate ourselves from the actual present moment of just being aware of what's happening in the now. Because we're involved in this sort of our own little world, which you know as human beings we can be kind of self-absorbed and in our own little worlds with our thoughts in the first place.
So add to that the whole digital world of other things going on, and it can make us a bit closed off to the world. Rather than developing deeper connections with people around us or engaging in deep conversation or just being present with people and things and occurrences and situations that are arising around us, we may sort of isolate and close off to the world. We sort of close off to the environment because we are self-absorbed in our own little worlds. And so for this recording, I would really want to focus on this element, although there are a lot of other elements to the elixir that we'll cover in subsequent weeks.
Just the idea of when we do that, and this is a kind of a great time to reflect on that. If you celebrate any holidays in the Northern Hemisphere, it's cold, so we tend to hibernate in the tropical areas. Hey, it's hot all the time. And then the South, it's summer. But even so, oftentimes if people take a little bit of holiday time, you can kind of pull back and contract into yourself. And it's like the end of the Western year, Chinese New Year's coming up as well. And so people are kind of reflecting on year-end, what worked in 2019, what's going to be different about 2020. And that to those type of activities pulling in and being more present with oneself versus engaging with family or friends or holiday time stuff.
In essence, and this kind of carries over into January. So like the end of one Chinese year to the next. I mean people schooled in the Chinese calendar would say like actually, the end of the year is the end of the Chinese New Year if you're following a lunar calendar. And so whether it's December or January, these months are really sort of reflective and sort of a turning point. So that's already interesting. When do I hole up and go in my room and think about this year and next year, and when do I engage and be present and come out of hibernation so I can be more present with the people around me?
That's just sort of an example. But we see this all the time, in our everyday life, no matter what time of year it is. When do we close out or close off the world and be tempted to become sort of self-absorbed in our own little world, without realizing what's going on around us, or losing touch, or losing a presence, or being present with what's happening around us. So, the beauty and magic of sea anemone is that it allows us to pull back and contract, but it also helps us be more present when it's time to be present. That we can feel and read the room that we can see, what's the vibe going on around, how's everybody? Is anybody in a bad mood or a good mood or a joyful mood, or what's so-and-so up to, or what's the other person up to, or what are my family members feeling and experiencing?
So, it's kind of like refines our tuning fork in a sense, refines our sensitivity, wakes us up to that kind of come out of yourself absorption in your own little world and recognize the world that you're in. So the question for this week as we work with the sea anemone in this first week is, when do you find yourself sort of pulling away and becoming absorbed in your own little world? Not to say that's a bad thing. It can be rejuvenative and restorative like what we've seen with the Crab elixir. But it's just interesting to note that dynamic. And when do you sort of like get your head above the water so you can see what's happening around you? When are you taking the pulse of the energy system in your environment, your surroundings, or the people that you're with? Looking at that balance.
Okay, so now that you've had a chance to work with the Sea Anemone for a little while, I want to bring up something that I notice when I work with Sea Anemone. And that is, that during the first week or so, it's almost like a cleansing, or I wouldn't go so far as a healing crisis, but it's like, when the essence magnifies back to us something about ourselves that we either haven't seen, or it's kind of stayed in the background. It makes it really loud and really comes to the forefront so that you see it. It's very obvious.
And what I notice is the tendency to distract myself for some kind of temporary comfort. And this can be, how should I explain? It’s like… For example, it would be, for some people it's Netflix, or movies: "Oh, let me just watch a movie."
For others, it's like, "Oh, let me immerse myself in this book and do some reading." Other people, it's social media. "Let me scroll on Instagram and Facebook and TikTok and wherever, and look at what other people are doing." Or, "Let me engage in a text conversation, or check my e-mails." This is sort of like external stimulation, which is also distraction, it can be.
Obviously, we have these tools we need to use these tools, all that I get. But it's more, when they become a distraction for some sort of temporary comfort, versus allowing ourselves to relax into solitude, and allow enough space for our own insights to arise. Right?
So let's say I have a really long and crazy busy day. And I go home, and it's the weekend, and I just am, "Oh, I just can't even think, I’ve been so busy. I'm going to watch this Scandinavian crime mystery movie story, because I just need to sort of unplug and distract." Which is fair. That's fair. I totally understand that.
But it can also be sort of like this distraction, so that we never actually get to resting for 20 minutes on our own, to figure out what it is that's happening inside of our bodies or our minds, or what we need. What we need more of, what we need less of, what feels good to us, what doesn't feel good to us, what feels nourishing, what doesn't feel nourishing, to just touch base, and get back in tune with ourselves. Similar to the awareness anchor coming back, getting in tune with ourselves, and being sensitive to our own needs.
It's hard to do that when we don't allow ourselves the five, 10, 15, 20, 60 minutes to just rest, to stop, to do nothing, nothing other than being in tune with ourselves. Because our bodies and our minds aren't static. They don't stay the same. So if you sit with yourself, whether you're in meditation, or whether you're just resting on your bed, or sitting outside watching the trees, you don't stay the same during, let's say, a 60-minute period.
You're not going to stay the same in a 20-minute period. Things rise, things fall, things happen, your breath changes, your thoughts change, temperature changes. There are a lot of things shifting and changing, especially when we're aware of them. Then they shift even more.
But what I notice is that oftentimes we don't even give ourselves the luxury of those five, 10, 20, 60 minutes to just stop and do nothing. Instead, we would either work, work, work till we drop. Or we distract ourselves with external stimulus like TV books, social media, phones, yada, yada, yada, yada.
So we experience this kind of comfort, but the thought of just sitting there doing nothing, kind of frantic. It can be. It's, "Ah, I should be doing something, I'm not doing something. I should be doing something, I'm not doing something. What am I doing here doing nothing?" It's an interesting dynamic that's just fun to be curious about and play with.
Can you allow yourself the luxury of five or 10 or 20 or 60 or 120 minutes of just sitting? Of sitting outside, and watching the birds, or of lying on your bed, doing nothing? Nothing, nothing. Nothing. Phone is on the other side of the room.
And to experience what it feels like to be inside your body, and to notice the sensations, and notice what's going on. Notice the thoughts that are arising. Notice the, your emotional landscape, notice everything that is arising, becoming more clear what your needs are, in that moment, what your body's needs are, in that moment.
So you may have noticed in the first week or so that these types of things arise, like, "Hmm, I kind of want to just lie down and do nothing." And then, the other part of you is, that's sort of purifying and cleansing out, is the sort of frantic, "Ah, how can I stop and do nothing? Am I supposed to stop and do nothing? Is this okay? This is weird. Aren't I supposed to be doing something? What should I be doing right now?" A kind of dynamic that happens.
So, if you have noticed this, or even if you hadn't, haven't, the challenge, or the question for this week, is to notice if there are times when you seek that kind of stimulation for temporary comfort, whether it's movies or TV or books, or reading the paper, or texting a friend, or checking your e-mails or online shopping, or whatever the stimulation is for temporary comfort, instead of just relaxing into rest and solitude, and making space for whatever it is that wants to arise within you.
It's like, there might be insights, there might be wisdom, there might be "Aha" moments that are just waiting for you to stop and do nothing, so that they can bubble up to the surface. But if you're so damn busy at the whole, all the time, and then you get a moment free, and you just distract yourself without even giving yourself five minutes. It's like, you as a human being are like this organism, right? This living, breathing, functioning organism, with a lot going on, let's say.
Let's say each one of us is a universe in itself of stuff, right? Good, bad, ugly, gorgeous. So if you're just constantly busy, and then the moment you get a second free, you're also busy, in a sense of distraction or stimulus, and you never allow yourself those five, 10 minutes to just rest, and allow for those insights to arise.
Allow for those "Aha" moments, and those flashes of brilliance and wisdom to arise. Because those are contained within you, and they can only pop up and arise up into your mind if you've created a container of space, right?
If you're watching some crime mystery, or movie or something, or suspenseful film or whatever, it's not likely that you're going to be, "Oh, I understand what my next step is in life." Right? You're totally distracted by this external stimulation, which is fine.
I'm not against any of that. I also engage in it from time to time. But with Sea Anemone, in particular, notice that dynamic and see if you can make space, five minutes, 10 minutes, two minutes, 20 minutes, whatever that is, to sit and do nothing.
Notice how you feel sitting and doing nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. No phone. No phone. And even perhaps no engaging with others. You yourself, and you alone in solitude, resting, resting, luxuriously, being open to wisdom and insights, and flashes of brilliance and space. What does that feel like?
This week we're going to focus on a slice of the many different types of awareness that we can have with Sea Anemone, and this week we'll be focusing on when we tend to speak with others about something that makes us feel off-kilter instead of making time to tap into our inner wisdom.
We've all had the experience where something stressful or surprising or unusual happens that knocks us off our balance, and we have the choice at that moment to sort of slow down, sit down, rest, take it easy and let the moment move through us and just sort of contemplate. Contemplate meaning – make space for things to shift around and for ourselves to adjust; adjust to the situation and be able to access our own inner wisdom about that situation that is somehow stressful.
That's one option. The other option is we go to a friend and we're like, "What the hell? Why did this happen to me? This, this, this, this, this. Let me tell you the story. And then this happened and then this happened, and then I was like, and then she, and he, and ..." Right? Thinking that somehow if we talk to someone else about it, that we will get some sort of insight.
And sometimes that happens where we just sort of ... especially as women, sometimes we need to sort of like talk things out to clarify our brains, which I understand. But if there is something that's kind of like disturbing that happens, that rocks you a little bit in your core or that takes you off balance or off-kilter again, notice how that can either lead to sort of oversharing with people and saying things that maybe you really didn't need to say, when you could instead sit in solitude and create space to tap into your own inner wisdom to be able to understand that situation with more depth and clarity at a faster velocity than if you were talking about it.
So, this week, one of the elements to just be aware of is when something surprising happens to you that is a little bit disturbing or takes you off balance, notice when your inclination is to tell someone about it, and notice when you are able to rest in solitude and make space for insights, and how different those two experiences feel.
Or you can just reflect on times in the past when you've done either or and what that feels like. You know that feeling, when we just talk too much or tell too much or tell too soon, or rant about something; that if we just sat by ourselves for five or 10 minutes and just kind of let it move through us, and settle through us and let the energies wash through, we might understand it a lot faster than if we blah blah to someone else.
So, just noticing that dynamic. Again, what does it feel like to sit in solitude and rest and tap into your own inner wisdom instead of sharing a situation that knocked you off balance?
One last aspect of sea anemone that I would love to share with you is, well, there are three different qualities that are arising. If you think about this creature... So there are thousands of different kinds of sea anemones around the world. There are four different types in Northern California. And this is the cloning anemone type. And so, I might've talked about it earlier in the recordings where literally to reproduce, the left side walks away from the right side and it rips the body right in half. And the left side walks to the left side and the right side walks to the right side and they formed their own colonies. Or they stay in the same colonies. I'm not sure if they form their own colonies or they stay in the same one.
In any case, I'm not a marine biologist, but in any case, what I do know about these cloning anemones is that they do grow in colonies, and they keep very specific and separate boundaries. So, if you look at colonies of the sea anemones, you'll often see a line right down the middle that is unoccupied and that is a barrier, like a border essentially. And if anybody tries to cross that line into the other colony, they get a little fierce and territorial about it. And I think how that manifests in the flower elixirs that... Talked to a lot of people recently who have been feeling a heightened sense of irritation actually.
Clare calls it the Sea Anemone rage or the Anemone rage. And it's like a form of intolerance that's really healthy and beneficial because it inspires you to set boundaries, and to be really clear, and to put people in their place. If someone is taking advantage of you, or encroaching in on your space, or giving you a really stupid customer service experience, or being a jerk, or whatever have you. When it is called for and beneficial to put them in their place, that you then do so. And it would facilitate a natural irritation arising that would give you then the strength to... Uh uh...Up to here. That's the boundary.
The other aspect is, besides the irritation and the boundary setting, is this ability to clone yourself. Imagine you could split yourself in half and then have two of you. And then, those two would split half and have four of you, and so on. And so, part of the magic of the Sea Anemone elixir is to help us revise our thinking in a way such that we're able to duplicate our efforts or have more ease with scaling ourselves, our time, our resources, what we're up to. I see that quite literally, it's easy for me to see because of this vehicle of having a business of being able to hire more people, for example.
You could see it perhaps in your life in terms of teaching, if you have found yourself recently teaching, I know when we did the Flowerevolution group call the other night, which was beautiful by the way; we'll be doing that every, for sure, every six months, maybe every three months, depending on how the group prefers it. But there were a lot of people in the group who mentioned that they've been inspired to teach this year. And so, in a way that's like scaling yourself. Having children is, in a way, cloning yourself. Teaching someone a skill or teaching someone a language, teaching someone a practice or a method. All of those ways are not literally like cloning, but metaphorically like scaling your impact, scaling your wisdom, scaling your knowledge, your expertise, your skills.
And so, you may find that Sea Anemone really gives you a boost of clarity in terms of... Or just an inclination or a push to teach or duplicate yourself, efforts, resources in some way or fashion. I love it. I can't get enough of Sea Anemone. It's so beautiful.
Question for this week is, or a couple of questions for this week would be, are you experiencing any irritation that's out of the ordinary at times? Or when you take the sea anemone and regularly, are you experiencing any sort of irritation, Anemone rage, or a sense of being better able to set boundaries, or not worry about how the other side feels when you lay down the law? And have you noticed any inclination or desire to teach, share, or otherwise duplicate efforts or scale your knowledge, wisdom, expertise in some way?
For years, I’ve been fascinated by Sea Anemones and their wild colors, strange shapes and sensitivity to touch. I find it so curious how when the tide goes out, they fold their bodies inward with rocks and shells stuck to the outside of them for protection. When the tide rolls in, they open up into a watery world where they can finally relax all their tentacles.
On a recent business trip to Northern California, I gleefully found Sea Anemones growing in tiny tide pools on a secluded beach! The tide pools had been soaking up the sunshine all day, which made it so easy to make an essence of them -- without even touching them.
Named after the flowering plant Anemone, they appear in a vast array of brilliant colors, looking like sea flowers with their fluttering tentacles. In the oceanic world, they’re like a combination of a jellyfish, with a soft body and locomotive abilities, and coral, attaching themselves to hard objects.
Sea Anemones live underwater. Some species survive off of algae that live inside their body and others wait for marine life to pass by - the slightest touch triggers a reaction. Once touched, the Sea Anemone’s many tentacles inject venom into their prey, paralyzing it so they can pull it into their bodies to digest. They mainly subsist on unassuming fish and mussels, and in tide pools, they often have a symbiotic relationship with various types of small fish and hermit crabs.
Not just for eating, their hundreds of tentacles - each of which contains hundreds of minuscule sensory hairs - constantly inform the Sea Anemone of their surroundings. Though the venom they contain makes them unappealing prey to most other marine life, they’re able to use their tentacles defensively when necessary.
In modern day culture all over the globe, we live life in our own little worlds, checking our phones for texts, emails and social media. In some ways, we close ourselves off to the dynamism of the present moment, while self-absorbed with our thoughts, unaware of what’s happening around us.
For example, it may be easier to escape into a fantasyland on Netflix than to have hard conversations or engage with others on a deeper level when it requires effort. Living in our own little safe worlds helps us avoid being vulnerable.
When attracted to Sea Anemone, you may find yourself falling into the conscious or subconscious habit of closing yourself off to your environment and surroundings, or to the people around you. You may also feel protective of yourself, an idea or a particular situation.
Not knowing when or with whom you can be vulnerable, there is a tension created that can in fact make you even more sensitive to external stimuli, perpetuating the feeling of being separate and timid. You may find yourself holding lots of tension throughout your physical body - or literally holding on to yourself too tightly.
Sea Anemone helps us to tune into our environment and the people around us in order to ‘read the room.’ It allows us to effortlessly intuit when it’s appropriate to let it all hang out, and when we need to hold things closer in to our hearts. We can skillfully maneuver, knowing when it’s time for us to hold back and be in listening/observation mode, and when it’s time to relax and melt barriers.
We sense the right timing of when to be vulnerable, sharing the intimate details of ourselves - but only with those who will value the most tender, sensitive parts of our being. We can also discern when we’re placing our energy, time and resources into a relationship or situation in which our precious abilities and talents are not cherished or respected.
Just like the Sea Anemones’ tentacles constantly inform them of their surroundings, we are able to use our sensitivity to quickly intuit subtle changes in our environment (both external and internal). Because we can quickly adapt to different dynamics, there is a sense of ease and ability to thrive in different environments.
When alone, Sea Anemone helps us pull into ourselves to seek out true sources of wisdom within us - through meditation, resting or observation. Rather than isolate and distract ourselves with tv, books or external stimulus in exchange for temporary comfort, we’re able to relax into solitude and make way for insights to arise from within us. For example, rather than discuss a problem with a friend, we’re able to sit quietly and discern clarity from a moment alone. Or rather than avoid reality by checking social media, we find ourselves more attracted to making a cup of tea or coffee and sitting quietly with ourselves in solitude.
{Magnifies}: Sensitivity. Skillful exposure. Intuitive adjusting. Vulnerability. Discernment. Adaptability.
{Dissolves}: Over-protective or overly sensitive. Closing off to the environment or surroundings. Timidity. Extremes: holding back and unwilling to be vulnerable vs. sharing too quickly.
