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Star Flower is native to the Sonoran Desert; I collected the essence under a desert moon and starlight. Star Flower allows us to not only recognize our special qualities, but to share them with the world. It helps us be fully comfortable with the best aspects of ourselves; to embody our inherent magic, beauty + radiance. By recognizing our own innate preciousness, we are able to honor the preciousness of everything + everyone else. It dissolves any fears of being in the spotlight, and fear of our own greatness. Read more here!
When do you find yourself holding back? Put your awareness there. Again and again. Get to the bottom of the fear of what will happen if you do express, what would happen if you did express, and then breathe compassion into that. (can be totally illogical).
By being intentional when taking our flower essences, we remind ourselves, our guides and the universe what it is we want to embody. Choose one of the phrases below that most resonates, or make up your own! Every time you take your elixir, close your eyes and set your intention:
I love being myself.
I'm comfortable in the spotlight.
My greatness reflects others' greatness.
My greatness allows others to be great.
I'm a star.
I'm precious.
If I shine brightly, the world has my back.
To take it one step further, as you take your elixir and set your intention, visualize everyone else in this program, all around the world, standing firmly planted. By connecting with others in our group, we exponentially multiply the benefit + ripple effect!
When do I shy away from being in the spotlight?
What parts of myself do I suppress or not show others - out of fear?
In what situations is it effortless for me to speak up and/or step into my greatness? What makes those situations different from other times? What holds me back?
What is my greatest gift? In what ways am I sharing it with the world? How can I amplify or scale that?
What is my favorite part of myself?
Prefer to have a printed sheet with the writing prompts, exquisite practices + a calendar to track your month?
Download the Star Flower Support Guide here.
Reach out to 3 people in your life and ask them what your 3 best qualities are.
Visualize yourself stepping into the spotlight on a stage. What are the emotions that arise? Fear, intimidation, excitement? Where do you feel them in your body?
Sit quietly and imagine light radiating from your body. Where does it come from? Observe any resistance that arises. Welcome the resistance and breathe compassion into it, without needing it to change.
(USE FOR 15% OFF YOUR PURCHASE SITE-WIDE ALL THROUGH SEPTEMBER!)
I will help you:
Use me when you feel:
This month we're working with starflower. Starflower is a wild flower that grows out in the desert. I collected this flower... Oh, I was out on the dirt road out into the desert, and we'd been searching all day for something really special. And It's such a luminous flower, and so tiny and low to the ground that we didn't notice until like late afternoon sunset. So we ended up making the flower essence and I put it out under the moon and the starlight, which is so perfect. It's like a starlight infusion of starflower.
Ironically, this flower has a lot to do with... We could say like being a star, but it's not like a sort of ego version of needing attention. It's more like liberating yourself into your full expression. So feeling free enough, feeling liberated enough, feeling freedom from resistance, intention, and enough ease for you to just fully feel yourself and express your wildest version of yourself.
I was watching a video actually when I'd gotten back from Asia, of two of my favorite salsa dancers who just happened to be in Singapore the weekend after I got back to the States. I'd just missed them by a week. They are my two favorite dancers because of that very… that quality of being free and being liberated into their bodies, and being able to express themselves in a way that's not muddled or mucked up with ego, or competition, or any kind of like.. the other weird stuff that can come with performing and creative arts.
On the contrary, I find them as human beings to be some of the most humble people. Humble, and funny, and humorous, especially the guy in the partnership. I've taken lessons with him privately, and I'm just so impressed by him as a human being, and their level of mastery and ability to really just like let it all hang out. And so, we thought we'd include a video of these two dancers, and even though they're onstage, what I find actually the most interesting is, the moments in which they connect most with the audience is not necessarily in the wow moments. It's in the spaces, or the humor, or the connection point with the audience. It's like in the leveling of the playing field.
So even though they are on a stage and they're elevated, I would say what really actually makes them stars in a sense... Stars meaning like not somebody to be glorified and put up on a pedestal as something I can't do or couldn't be like – stars meaning like how fricking miraculous the fact that you look up in the middle of the night and you see these shining, twinkling balls of light, and that the universe is full of them, and there are many, many, many stars, and just the incredible magic and beauty of stars.
And in this sort of like silly video of salsa dancers, it is kind of silly in a way. I really enjoy the moments of when they connect with the audience and the stage disappears. And in that human connection, it's where they actually shine. It's in the leveling of the play field and in the absence of... It's like when you're really interconnected or when you're really connected with someone, there's no superior or inferior.
They do a pretty great job of... I mean, it's salsa, so like the vehicle is very sexy, and sensuous, and funny as you would expect from Latin dance, that's the vehicle. But in those moments when they're like totally wild, just raw and letting it all hang out, like they work extremely hard for the talent that they possess. And yeah, it's in those moments of just like raw, liberated freedom of pure essential human creative expression. Those are the moments that truly, truly, truly their light shines. It's like their inner essence is able to be seen.
So just as like a fun video and a way to introduce this month and just take note that it's not about being a star on the stage, it's about that raw, liberated, wild, free version of yourself that is able to emerge and be seen without any fears, pretension in your system.
So starting off for this first week, the question is, what might be some of your fears that would hold you back from your truest, rawest, wildest, freest expression of who you are?
Click here to watch the IGTV video. (This one's my favorite)
Click here to watch the YouTube video.
So last week, the question for the week was: what fears may hold you back from being able to be your wildest fullest expression of yourself? So, each of us of course has our favorite flavor or flavors of whatever it is that arises that would prevent us from being our wildest self. Wild not meaning crazy, but just fully expressed self.
So I'm imagining that after working with Star Flower for at least a week, you are coming to some conclusions about what those fears might be or you know already because of your level of attention and self-awareness.
And I just thought I would share a story of something that happened to me this week, because most definitely it ties in, and it could help you understand how Star Flower may be working in your life. I had a meeting with my.. we work with a company that does our accounting and outsourced CFO – common in small companies when you don't have, you know, enough financial work that you can pay someone full time to just fully do finances. So, we work with a company, they do our bookkeeping. If there's any more complicated business financial things like projections or forecasts or preparing documents for loans or that type of thing, they can help us out. And typically I would have like a 30 minute meeting each month just to check in and touch base with the CFO and look at the financials for that month and see what's happening and what's trending.
Anyway, long story short, I hadn't met with her all summer because I was in Asia. And when I came back to the States, we set up a meeting, and she brought a couple other people into the meeting. And we did some, you know, got some 15 to 20 minutes of things out of the way that we needed to tie up. And then she started talking to me about monthly fees and how the business was changing, and we'll go into all of the silly details, but the bottom line was that I could tell something was changing. Either she just wants to raise her fees on all her clients, or something about their business is shifting, or maybe their company needs money. Or they somehow perceive us as a high maintenance client, which we're not. And pretty much in every way that she laid out some sort of negotiation tactic, I just like squashed it with whatever response that I had; or at least matched it and met it and either showed her how it wasn't true, or it didn't apply or didn't make sense.
So in the end, nothing about our agreement changed and the price didn't go up. The services also didn't go up, but we were able to negotiate our way through it. The thing that struck me though about the whole experience was that I was in a situation where someone from my support team, someone who should be acting as a support, was almost like adversarial and roasting me. Like kind of hanging me out to dry. Or giving me arguments that didn't have a basis, or presenting material that was just sort of like – this is her spiel that she was going to give every single client to try to raise her prices.
And in the middle of the conversation I could feel myself getting angry. If I get really angry, I get quieter and choose my words really carefully. And in the middle of the conversation I was thinking, you know what? Like at any moment in time I am free to say, "And this relationship is over." Like, "And you're fired as our CFO or our accounting service. We don't need to work together. This obviously isn't working."
And I didn't feel like it got to that point at all. I felt like, you know, a lot of conflict can be really good, and negotiating can be really good, and I actually was really appreciative of fact and grateful after the fact of like, wow, she gave me an opportunity to put my negotiating skills to test. And she also gave me an opportunity to experience what it feels like to ... You know, just to sort of have somebody get in my face about something that wasn't really based on reality. It gave me the opportunity to present back and negotiate back with a level head.
But how this ties into Star Flower is that: I believe under the influence or the assistance or the guidance of the Star Flower Elixir, that my responses were stronger and with a firmer foundation, because I had no fear of being abandoned. And you know, we typically think of like being abandoned as a child or being abandoned by parents or being abandoned by the babysitter or being left behind by a lover or whatever that is. In this case it would be like, "Shit, I don't have an accountant, or I don't have somebody who's helping with my finances, and now I've got to find somebody new, and I've got to do it quick." And so it's like a different level of being left out in the cold or being left behind. Just simply having to do a lot of work to find a replacement.
I think in the past, I'm not 100% sure, but I think in the past I would have been a little bit more wimpy and passive, and just kind of like, "Oh, whatever you say." Rather than pick apart each point that she gave me and tell her that it actually wasn't true. I think that level of clarity and harder negotiating is not necessarily my forte or hasn't necessarily been my forte. And so I believe that the Star Flower is helping me in this particular case, and in a lot of other examples that seem to be cropping up magically this month in business and in my life. Situations that test me in a sense to see how firm I am in the way that I behave.
And I believe that the way I used to behave, like a lot of those fears would start creeping in, "Ooh, what if they go away?" "What if I," you know, "What if what I wanted to create isn't going to happen that way because this person's going to go away, or this person's going to go here?" Or you know, whatever the story is.
So in this example with the accountant roasting me one day, I felt confident and I felt grateful that she gave me the opportunity to stick to my guns, and be firm, and strong and powerful, even though I'm quiet and gentle person; and be able to just hold my ground, like, "That's not true." And speak my mind in front of other people as well. And you know, maybe it's like gosh, you just don't want to, you know, tell somebody they're wrong or you're afraid. There's so many things that could play into it, you don't want somebody to lose face in front of other people or their employees or whatever the stories are. It just wasn't mattering that day.
It was just like, this is truth and I'm going to speak truth. This is clarity and I'm going to speak clarity. Let's cut the bullshit. Like that's not true. And that's a form of expression I think that's really important as you grow in business and in life. And it's not something that for me come naturally or easily. So I would encourage you to look at the different situations that are cropping up this week or this month and see if you can find an area where you find yourself either better able to assert, or feel free in your body, or not worry so much about what others think.
Another example, I went salsa dancing last night and I just remember thinking wow, it's just, it's so nice to be in a state of mind where you feel like you can just totally let loose and you don't care if people are watching you don't care what people think of you. Maybe your movements look silly, maybe you look awkward. Who cares? And being able to enjoy the freedom of being in your, whatever your expression is.
So some of the areas that you can look at are: your comfort with silence, your comfort with silence around other people. Your comfort with certain level of communication styles or conversations. Your comfort in particular relationships, or lack thereof. Situations at work. Whatever you do in your free time. The time that you spend with family, friends, children, parents.
Looking for subtle occurrences that are just slightly out of the ordinary in that you act slightly different than you would normally act. You maybe speak up more than you would normally, or you hold firmer than you would normally, or you let looser than you normally would be. Or you just in general feel like you have the freedom to take care of yourself when you need to, or take care of priorities. Not feel as internally pressured to stretch yourself then because you're trying to be everything for everyone. Really just allowing yourself to be. And be in whatever that fullest expression of you is. No extra, no less.
So hopefully, I don't mean to make these recordings just about me. I just want to bring in personal stories so that you can maybe see the subtle ways in which they're affecting you and your life.
And the question for this week would be:
What areas are you finding yourself displaying your behavior - whether it's voice, speaking up, presencing, showing up, not showing up? What are the ways that you are subtly expressing yourself differently or experiencing a slightly different behavior than you normally would exhibit?
And I think it will be interesting just to put your attention there and see how that manifests.
What are the areas of your life where you are behaving slightly differently, or feeling, or perceiving slightly differently than you typically would be?
Okay. So, I was really excited to do this recording because, for sure, all of us have been taking Star Flower for a while now. Star Flower's one of those odd little flowers where it's just like... I remember to take it, but it's not one of those that I'm guzzling all the time. I'm just really good at consistently taking it. It's also one of those flowers that, you know, maybe because it's tiny and little, we tend to underestimate the power of something and, man, this flower is a powerhouse. I see so many changes in myself and other people, and it's really a powerhouse, and it's become my new favorite flower. I feel like I say that every month, but it's such an incredible flower elixir.
I'm excited to do this recording because I want to ask you the question of the week. I'm going to ask you now, and then I'll ask you at the end. But I want to ask you, how are you not holding back? How are you doing things differently? How are you speaking up more or staying quiet more? How are you, in some way, not letting whatever your favorite flavor of fear around expression... how are you unlocking that, and operating from it in a different way?
I'll give you some silly examples from my side: we've been shooting a lot of IGTV videos on Instagram lately. I think, for some reason, maybe because it felt like a big production or something before, but I've never really done a lot of videos on YouTube, talking straight to the camera. Gosh. Just never really done that. Maybe before, I felt like, "Who's going to be interested?" Or, "Oh, it's just a boring talking head," versus a beautiful shot with B-roll, travel and stuff. But because IGTV is just so easy to pop up a video and answer people's questions, been doing that a lot lately, and it's definitely out of my norm. It's like, "Who cares what I look like? Oh god, I gained so much weight. Oh, who cares." Who cares, just put it out there. Don't care. My job is to be of service to people in whatever capacity possible without letting some silly insecurity stop me.
On that note, I've also been writing more, and not necessarily personal stuff, but I just wrote an email, you may have gotten if you're on the LOTUSWEI list, about the five rituals of things that we do here at LOTUSWEI, or some of us, most of us on the team do. Those are all things also that are sort of like... I guess I held it close to the heart or something, and maybe I wouldn't necessarily share those things before, and now it's like, "Share it! Maybe somebody will be inspired to do one of these, or some of these rituals."
I find myself trying new things, saying things that I would normally keep quiet, going into situations that would normally scare me before. Scare is a big word, but create a level of tension, resistance, or fear, or you know, so that I would just avoid it, or not do it, or not engage. I find that I'm engaging a lot more fearlessly. Engaging with people, and in situations with folks that maybe I haven't necessarily had the best relationships with, or where things have tended to be volatile, or they tend to have a volatile response; I'm just like getting in there. Getting in there fearlessly, with sort of this foundational sense of spacious like, "It's going to be fine." Almost as if my nervous system is more immune to other people's energetic fluctuations, rather than being so sensitive about how other people feel.
So, if somebody's freaking out or somebody's angry, somebody's resentful, bitter or screaming at somebody on the phone, I feel more in a position to be like, "Eh, whatever. That's their deal. If they want to be like that, that's fine. That's fine, that's their deal”. I'm not going to let it affect me. I won't let it ripple my waters or change the way that I feel. Or make me experience fear, worry, nervousness, or whatever that is.
Those are some of the examples that I'm noticing in my life about the subtle, or not-so-subtle, changes due to Star Flower, because there's really nothing else that I'm doing differently. So I wanted to ask you: what are you noticing? Is there any way that you find yourself not holding back? I know the first week the question was, how do you usually hold yourself back or what fear holds you back from your fullest self-expression? Now my question is, how are you not holding back from your fullest expression? How are you letting it rip? If you're not, it's time to take more Star Flower elixir. Maybe you're not taking enough.
Yeah, exciting. It feels good to feel more freedom and liberation in the body system, and not... situations or times where we might have walked on eggshells or been a little bit tentative or hesitant to get right in there. Dive in head first, see what happens. It's very liberating.
Again, how are you not holding back? If you are, that's okay too. Just notice it and take more starflower. How are you not holding back, how are you expressing more freely, how are you stepping into situations that previously might have made you feel uncomfortable? How are you opening more to the situations that arise in life? Opening more. Opening more. Fearless opening. How are you fearlessly opening more to what presents itself to you in your life?
I collected Star Flower in the Sonoran desert. I had been looking all day for special flowers to collect and when we finally came across these flowers, it was sunset. How perfect that the Star Flower would infuse under the desert stars all night.
Native to the Southwestern United States and Northern Mexico, Star Flower is part of the phlox family. Though they tend to grow in fields, each flower stands alone upon its inflorescence (or cluster of flowers).
Star Flower prefers sandy soil and is commonly found in washes and on the plains. Flowering in the heart of desert spring from February to May, it infuses luscious pops of light purple wherever it grows.
If you’re attracted to Star Flower, you may be shy about "putting yourself out there." Fear of failure, being in the spotlight or stepping out on your own might hold you back from your own greatness. You may worry that if you are fully yourself, others may get angry or jealous or abandon you.
You may prefer to stand in the background and let others be front and center. Or perhaps you’re worried that if you step out of the shadows, you’ll lose your support system and have to stand all alone.
You may have heard the saying: “It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” Often it is our greatness that we fear most because we fear what will happen as a result.
You may "dim your light" (or even have it turned off!) or suffer from low energy due to suppression of your natural gifts or expression.
Star Flower helps us embrace our greatness—not only the luminous, magical, beautiful qualities of our essence but also our unapologetic fearlessness. There is a sense of comfort in who we are—ALL of who we are, all parts of ourselves.
(For each person, that manifests differently, depending on which parts usually get suppressed out of fear. Those will be the parts that emerge with Star Flower.)
As we stand up for what’s meaningful to us, we realize we can be our biggest, truest selves without alienating ourselves or losing the support of others. We recognize the freedom in being "real," no matter what that looks like. We dissolve resistance and fear to being fully comfortable with the most raw and wild expression of ourselves.
Without subconscious worries of being cast out or abandoned, we operate out of security and independence. We are unafraid to be great, to be in our own power, to be in the spotlight. And we become more immune to other people’s energetic fluctuations as we grow stronger in ourselves. We know the world is a supportive and loving place, waiting for us to share our gifts and unique abilities.
Star Flower helps us feel the world supportively receiving all of us (even the parts we previously suppressed). We realize that we are a star (not in the "star of the show" sense, but rather a miraculous twinkling star in a sea of stars and a universe of inextricable interconnectedness). We allow ourselves to revel in our own luminosity as we reflect back to others their own unique beauty. By recognizing our own innate preciousness, we are able to honor the preciousness inherent in everything and everyone else.
The best part? You don’t have to DO anything. Just being is enough.
Star Flower enhances our ability to be in tune. We’re more able to perceive aspects of the world that are magical and miraculous. We feel protected and at ease.
{Magnifies}: Luminescence; fearless independence; unapologetic beauty; soft radiance; unabashed purity; intuitive awareness
{Dissolves}: Shyness; fear of being yourself, being the spotlight; fear of failure, abandonment, being cast out or losing yourself as a result of expressing your greatness
