Hardships, heartaches + hard sh*t

December 22, 2018

Another year has passed + winter is officially here. Every time winter arrives, I am reminded that we only get about 80 winters in our life - if we’re lucky! Time passes so quickly, but this of year always seems to be when we have a few hours or days to be more reflective about what we’re up to in life.

One thing that’s become extremely clear to me this year:

I am 500% committed to my own awakening and THAT is the greatest service I could offer to my loved ones + the world.

Oftentimes we think in terms of impact externally … how many people did I help/reach/touch/positively affect? And while that’s crucial, the expenditure of effort we make has the most powerful effect when it’s driven by our own true internal transformation.

Which boils down to:

I wake myself up, and that activates others to wake up.

In essence, the most important thing I can do for my business, my friends, my family + my legacy is to wake the F* up. This encompasses my ability to look honestly + ruthlessly at myself, sit with difficult emotions + find new ways to be more comfortable being uncomfortable.

Determination - along with my awareness practices + the flower essences - help me do the above in both graceful + messy ways.

One of the greatest indicators that I am evolving has always been discomfort. These days discomfort comes in more unique forms + flavors than ever before. So when it arises, I welcome it.

I embrace, look at, sit with, relax into and find ways to work with discomfort.

For example:

Getting up before dawn seven days a week to let various contractors into the new building, and spending months alone there managing everything was uncomfortable.

Adding all the extra zeros to our expenses + utility bills was uncomfortable.

Firing two flooring companies - then interviewing eight more - was uncomfortable.

Then the flooring company I loved. Arguing and negotiating for them to re-do certain parts of their work - because it wasn't well done - was extremely uncomfortable.

I’m used to the soft way of presenting awakening - holding space + knowing that my ability to ‘be’ and rest in the vastness of spaciousness creates a container for others to do the same.

It is not, however, comfortable for me to fight for what’s right with men. It’s hard to call anyone out on their shit: laziness, sloppiness, disorganization or lack of care. But that is the kind of fearlessness required to motivate certain types of people to see clearly (or rather, probably all of us - it takes a certain kind of sting to wake up).

Being a righteous human being - and holding others to the same standard - is not easy.

But damn it, what other reason are we here for? If we’re not improving + evolving every day, what’s the point of life? Otherwise, we’re just taking up space.

Something folks may not know about us here at LOTUSWEI: we are all committed to sitting with what is - even the hard shit. We support each other + our community to look at + be with the hard things just as much as the beautiful things ~ as they are inextricably related.

This manifests in what we do externally - expanding into a new building, hosting Flowerlounges + retreats all over the world, etc. It's not always easy. We may make it look elegant + beautiful, but the whole point is getting comfortable with being uncomfortable - because that's the only way we really expand.

Things may look beautiful but be really hard. And the things that are really hard are also beautiful. They are all a reflection of commitment to awakening.

At the soft opening of our new apothecary + event space last week, I reconnected with a business coach of mine from 10 years ago. Her husband died two months ago, and she was SO soft + tender. She described the moment when her husband became lucid in the final days to have one last conversation with her - and how she was finally able to feel she could honor the fact that he was choosing to leave.

These are the kinds of challenges we all have - or will have - in life. If YOU have been or are facing challenges + difficulty in life (who doesn’t?), I share this as encouragement.

Encouragement to embrace the hardships, the heartaches, the longing, the grittiness, and any kind of discomfort that life presents us with. That’s where all the juiciness is! Nestled in our ability to hold the discomfort with the beauty, to let it alchemize us into the most brilliant human beings we could ever become.


Because each of us is bolder, bigger, vaster + wildly more powerful than our intellectual minds can even imagine. It is that unexpected capacity we can tap into + surprise ourselves with, if we allow life to transform us through discomfort.

In what ways did you get more comfortable with discomfort this year?
How did this transform and spark you into a truer version of yourself?

Add a comment below + let me know!

Wishing you a reflective + inspiring last few days of 2018. And a powerful start to 2019 - full of clarity + self-compassion.

Endless love + flower petals,