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A curious and intriguing flower that looks like a fuzzy hat, the Sugarbowl flower hangs upside down, so that you cannot readily see its center. This flower takes us on a tour through aspects of ourselves we've kept hidden or perceived as our 'darkness.' It brings everything out into the open, so we can deepen into yet another layer of authenticity and self-transparency. With a sense of humor and mischief, Sugarbowl helps us see through the veils of both ourselves and others. Read more here!
By being intentional when taking our flower essences, we remind ourselves, our guides and the universe what it is we want to embody. Choose one of the phrases below that most resonates, or make up your own! Every time you take your elixir, close your eyes and set your intention:
To take it one step further, as you take your elixir and set your intention, visualize everyone else in this program, all around the world, peeking under our own veils for greater authenticity. By connecting with others in our group, we exponentially multiply the benefit + ripple effect!
What does the boldest version of myself look like? What scares me about that?
When do I veil myself in the presence of others? When do I keep things veiled from myself?
What parts of myself am I fearful of letting be expressed, particularly because I fear they will ‘get me into trouble’ or take over?
What truths am I keeping from myself?
Prefer to have a printed sheet with the writing prompts, exquisite practices + a calendar to track your month?
Download the Sugarbowl Support Guide here.
Think of traits/habits/ways of being in others that drive. you. crazy. Write them out. Now, without judgement, reflect on ways you yourself participate or act in similar ways, though the expression may be different.
Has there ever been a time when you’ve frightened yourself? Reflect on that experience. Was there an emotion or expression you didn’t know existed? Was there a power or ability expressed that you weren’t sure how to wield? How did that experience(s) shape how you interact with yourself and others?
Sit quietly in whatever position is comfortable. With your eyes closed, scan through your body, slowly and with judgement. Is there a place, physically, that seems hidden, dark or veiled? Sit with that space and explore it with gentle curiosity. Is there an emotion that lives there? A certain expression of yourself? Stay with this space as long as you can, but don’t push yourself. Bring your awareness back to this physical location periodically, and get to know it. You may surprised by what you learn.
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I collected the Sugarbowl Clematis flower on the Wildflower Trail, on the border of Idaho and Wyoming in the Grand Tetons. In order to see the inside of this flower, you literally have to get on all fours. So on your hands and knees and really peer up into the flower to be able to see that really rich, vibrant, royal purple and bright yellow from the inside. On the outside, it really just looks like a velvet upside down hat.
Very interesting flower. And it's operating on us, in terms of a flower essence, around the concept of hiding. There's a lot of different definitions that we can use for hiding. The first one we'll look at is where are we hiding in our lives in terms of playing small? When are those times that we - either because of perceived limitation or fear or fear of conflict or whatever the flavor is or fear of being seen or exposed - we sort of shrink down into a smaller size and play small.
So this flower elixir will be eliciting us to or demanding that we play big. That we stretch outside of our normal operations or our standard operating procedures. That we break free from those in order to stretch a little further, reach a little higher, and break through any fears of conflict, any limitations, fears around being seen or heard, or any just general miscellaneous discomfort or tension around playing bigger or expressing a bigger, bolder expression of ourself.
The question for this month, or rather for this week, around this particular form of hiding is: How am I playing small? How do I play small? What are the decisions I make or the ways that I behave that encourage me to play small or that come from a place of playing small? And what would it look like if I were to break through those patterns and play bigger?
With the Sugarbowl elixir, there's another definition of hiding that is interesting. Hiding in terms of hiding one's motivations. One of the really cool benefits of working with the Sugarbowl elixir is that it helps us see more clearly what the motivations are of others.
In our interactions with people, we are more quickly able to see through any outer display into the heart of what the true intentions and true motivations are, whether those are beneficial or not, positive, negative. We can more clearly and sharply see through.
So, for example, if we have a habit of thinking that everybody is nice and that everybody wants the best, we may notice that while taking this flower elixir, there is some sharper sense of clarity around, "Ah, this person actually is lazy," or, "This person actually wishes me harm," or, "This person is distracted," or, "This person doesn't care." And they may be thoughts that we typically don't have. Maybe you're the kind of person that's like, "I give everybody the benefit of the doubt, and everybody's super nice." So you may feel a little bit like you can see into the shadow side of things more clearly than usual, which would be normal.
The benefit of this elixir is to help strip away what is superfluous, so that we can really see to the heart of the matter and understand what the true motivations and intentions are behind particular behavior or interaction that we have with others.
That's just something to be aware of as you're working with the elixir. Really observing the people around you. And really sinking into a clear sense of why they operate how they operate, and what really means something to them, what motivates their actions, what motivates their words. Even just in terms of improving relationships with your loved ones, really understanding on a deeper level, what is it that motivates them.
For this week, one exercise would be to look at three people in your life that you see on a daily basis or semi-daily basis, and observe their behavior and just notice what is the deeper motivation for why they do what they do or how they are how they are, and see what insights arise from that.
When we talk about hidden motivations with Sugarbowl flower, it doesn't necessarily mean something negative, like as in someone wishes me harm but they're just showing me a nice face. In fact, it just simply means something that's not apparent or not readily apparent.
You can also apply that to yourself and reflect back on your own motivations and why you do the things the way you do them, what motivates your behaviors, what motivates the choices that you make in life, what motivates the way that you interact with others.
I think this is a really good understanding to have about one's self. Because, let's say for example, someone is talking to me and I realize I'm being very distracted and not listening, 100% present. I may be distracted because there's something else pending that's really important and I'm motivated by taking care of things or being responsible, or finishing what I say I'm going to finish, for example. Just simply understanding the motivation behind why we do things the way we do things can help us have more compassion for ourselves and for others as well. We may realize, oh I'm being distracted in this moment and if I were present with this person I can more thoroughly finish things, which is what I'm motivated by. If I just listen clearly once and not have to ask this person to repeat themselves two or three times because I wasn't paying attention.
Just simply by being aware of what motivates you, can help us to have more awareness in our daily life interactions and our behaviors, and really just understanding how we tick. Why do I do the things the way I do them?
And you can really question yourself in every which way. The way you eat breakfast, the way you don't eat breakfast. What motivates that decision? The way you dress, the way you drive, the way you work, the way you speak, listen. The way you operate. What motivates those decisions? What is driving you? That is, for this week, those are some questions that you can ask yourself or really pay attention to. What drives me on a daily basis? Why do I do things I do the way I do them? If you continually notice, or continually practice in this self-observation mode with the help of the Sugarbowl elixir, I think you'll notice some really interesting insights.
So really just this continuous coming back to, what is driving this behavior, what is driving this decision or choice or action? Why do I do things like this? And see what kind of insights arise.
So in doing this recording, my voice is a little weak because I have had bronchitis. And had a situation where I had to really express in a way that I'm not used to with a contractor that was working on the building, in order to get the right thing to occur for what we needed, and what was overall just the most beneficial thing for all parties. And pretty much immediately after that I lost my voice for two days and then got bronchitis. I'm imagining that this is clearing some deep and very old fear of self-expression, especially with men. So, as I dedicate that to everyone that I come in contact with, everyone that's in some way connected to me, I dedicate that purification to the purification for all others to also allow for that type of purification and allow for more freedom of expression.
And ironically, as we're working with Sugarbowl of this month, part of the theme and with Sugarbowl is, what things am I hesitant to say? When does self-expression create tension in any way? What aspects of myself am I afraid of?
And these can be subconscious aspects that you're not even aware of. That say, another part of you sort of protects you from, or doesn't let you really fully see them. And so, in keeping with just for now the theme of self-expression, I just wanted to riff a little bit on reflecting on the types of expressions that we have tension around.
Thinking in your life, is there any type of situation you feel reluctant to speak up? When do you hold back? When do you either not express clarity, anger, irritation, affection, love, your deeper emotions - the gamut.
So both positive emotion and - certainly not negative - we'll say warm and fuzzy type of expression, versus sharp, clarity, cutting through, telling the truth, calling people on their shit type of expression. So those two forms. One is one of love and appreciation, and adoration and gratitude. And the other being the kind that tells the truth, cuts through the bullshit, and helps people essentially awaken to the truth.
When do you, in either of those forms of self-expression hold back? In what situations in your, life with what people, for what cause? For example, if there's fear of lack of reciprocation, or feeling stupid, or fear of being abandoned, or getting in trouble, or fear of conflict, whatever all those favorite subconscious things are.
It would be interesting in the last week or so of Sugarbowl elixir to observe and sort of reflect and dig into those areas of when you don't express yourself. And again - as usual with my style of sharing, reflecting, teaching is always that - it isn't to point out something to yourself that is wrong or needs to be fixed, it's simply when we bring awareness to these things, they already start to unravel and sort themselves out.
So simply all we're doing this week is bringing awareness to those areas of our life where we either hold back our own self-expression of warm and fuzzy, adoration, love, appreciation, gratitude. Or the sharp tongue, crystal clear, cutting through, telling the truth, speaking up, setting things straight, and right and true. Even if it appears to be harsh, or angry, or calling people out. When in your life are you reluctant or hesitant to express those forms of communication or expression with others? And notice the type of situations - men or women, what types of relationships do you have with them. When does it arise? And just sit with that.